10 years ago today I was finally taking my mandatory time off from work after having had to change plans several times during the year due to work.  The day before my boss had asked if it was possible for me to postpone again, and I told him that I needed to visit my parents, particularly my father as he had been ill off and on all year.

I spent the day doing things around the house.  I finally was getting some painting and refinishing done to the house after having lived there for 5 years.  I went shopping late afternoon and kept avoiding coming home for some reason.  I felt like there was something hanging over my head.  I finally got home, and there were messages from all of my siblings asking me to call.  I knew immediately what had happened.  I called my big sister and heard that Daddy had collapsed shortly after they had returned from the Mayo Clinic.  Although they resuscitated him briefly, my mother had made the decision per his stated wishes to not keep him on life support.  He died a week before I was supposed to go visit him. 

In the time since my father died a lot has happened in my life that I wish he'd been able to share in.  He never met Jeff, but I feel that he was part of our coming together.  Jeff and I ran into each other about 6 months after my father died.  His father had died about 5 years earlier, and we spent a lot of the evening talking about our fathers.  Jeff helped me get through my grieving.  I wish Daddy had gotten to see my kids, and I really wish my kids could have known him.  Daddy was an amazing man with small children.  He wasn't as good at communicating when we got older (very old school), but he was wonderful in a lot of ways that I didn't appreciate as a teenager or a young adult. 

I'm very proud of my father and what he accomplished in his life.  He was born the son of a tenant farmer, graduated top of his high school class and got a full scholarship to Ohio State as a result.  At that time the men on scholarship lived in the towers of the football stadium.  I'm not sure how old I was before I realized that the "Tower Club" he talked about was really their fraternity as they didn't have the money for a regular fraternity.  He got a degree in accounting and went to work for Arthur Young, traveling the country as an auditor before WWII.  He quit to go to law school at the University of Michigan (Big 10 fans will appreciate the irony there) but put that on hold to serve in the Navy during the War.  With his amazingly flat feet (that I of course inherited) and accounting degree he ended up serving stateside the whole time.  After the war he used the GI Bill to finish law school, again graduating top of his class and earning a JD (only given to the top of the class at that time).  He was a great storyteller, and I so wished that we had videotaped him telling some of his stories.

Most of my father's career he was a law professor.  He had a private practice for a short period of time but didn't do very well in it as he wasn't good at schmoozing and gladhanding.  He really liked teaching, and he loved the law.  He was a constitutional purist, and he and Jeff would have had a great time discussing the issues.  He wasn't flashy or showy, but people respected him and remembered him.  He had a quiet kind of power , gravitas, that I don't think I've ever seen in anyone else.    He was a good man, and he loved his family.  I am so fortunate to have had him as a father.

I love you, Daddy.

Tags: daddy
Current Location: family room
Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: children playing

great article in NY Times on women, 3rd world in particular, and best use of aid dollars.  It's frightening to read about the millions of missing women in the world. 

www.nytimes.com/2009/08/23/magazine/23Women-t.html

Current Mood: angry

Going nuts.  In addition to the drama with getting the house ready to sell, arguing with a minister over theology of baptism, the subsequent drama with my mother for upsetting her minister, my father-in-law had surgery for internal bleeding two days ago.  When my MIL went to pick him up at the hospital, she had a stroke.  It was minor enough that she was released yesterday, but please, enough already.

Current Mood: anxious

Took the kids to the drive-in last night which did not go as we expected.  They did NOT fall asleep on the 1/2 hour drive.  Miss M got to play on the playground and then watched the movie on Daddy's lap, crawling around periodically (not sure why other than she's 2!).  Mr. J drank his bottle then fell asleep in Mommy's arms.  We only stayed for one movie, but we had a good time and will definitely be back! 

Need to stop procrastinating and get back to work!

So I was going to post about all the stuff we've done to the house or still need to do, but that was too depressing, and I've decided to spare you.

On the up side the new granite countertops look great; our bathroom finally looks the way I think it should; the new stairs look awesome, and I think the landscaping will make the house pretty (flowers!).

In the process I have learned more about permits for residential construction/repairs than I really wanted to know.  (Ignorance is not bliss; ignorance is expensive and pisses off inspectors.  Next time I follow my gut instinct and wait until everything is all done and clean before calling for the inspector rather than relying on someone else's advice.)

We are continuing to pack and clean (although I haven't even really started on the major cleaning since the contractors are still here).  Hopefully the house will be on the market next week.

 

Current Mood: anxious

OK, LJ Brain Trust, what's the best way to send a fax for free on the 'net?

Yesterday was an almost complete loss.  I had pushed myself past exhaustion into the space where my brain goes all wonky, and I am dizzy and nauseous just lying still (not to mention what happens when I move).  When J's alarm went off I told him he was going to need to stay home with the kids as there was no way I could take care of them.  I then proceeded to spend most of the next 28 hours in bed, where, with the assistance of Dramamine, I've been attempting to reboot my brain.  Today is much better; the wooziness is almost gone. Note to self: DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!  I don't know what it is about not sleeping enough that results in dizziness, but it happens to me every few years.  I thought I'd been getting "enough" but evidently I was wrong.

On the house front we got the inspection done on the new house, and there were only a few minor problems that the current owners are fixing.  We've started work on getting our yard cleaned and landscaped (anyone know how to get rid of an old hot tub that leaks?).  We're scheduled to get the painter/handyman here next week to start work.  Hopefully we'll get this house on the market in about 2 weeks, a little later than I'd hoped, but I think the work done will be worth it.  Still working on getting the granite countertops.

Tags: house

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090427/us_nm/us_newyork_plane

People must have shorter memories than I thought.  I feel so sorry for those in lower Manhattan who freaked today.  I can just imagine what that must have been like.

It has taken me years to not get nervous about planes flying overhead.  I still notice them, but the adrenaline doesn't surge the way it used to.   I don't know if I will ever get to the point where that day doesn't flash through my head when a plane is flying particularly close.  It was challenging when we were buying a house as Jeff needed to be close to work (i.e., the airport), and I really couldn't cope with the sound of a plane overhead.  Our househunting trip was the third week of September, 2001.  I made Jeff check the flight paths before we bought our house.  I still hear planes now and then, but it's a rarity.

Current Location: family room
Current Mood: kerfluffled

Must see this movie

http://www.clearspring.com/widgets/4970f50e5904bf70?p=4979f29f34aeac79

I giggled all through the preview, making Miss M ask

"Why you laughing, Mommy?"

Where do I begin to explain?

Where has this fall gone?  How can it be almost Christmas?

Marguerite just told Jeff she had no "rad" moves.  Got to love Backyardagins.  They're now fighting with her boffer swords.  She alternates between being so much fun and driving me nuts.  She's finally doing better after her bout with intestinal flu.  She ended up in WakeMed hospital with dehydration last week.  Slightly scary, but we caught it before it got really bad.  I would pick the day she comes down with the flu as the day to give up the pacifier.   She still occasionally complains to Daddy that "Mommy took the green binky".

Aah, she just came and kissed me night-night.

So, our trip to Italy was great.  At some point I will get the chance to go through all my pictures and maybe absorb some more of what I saw.  I was majorly frustrated by not being able to take pictures in most of the museums.  We didn't care much for Milan (everything was closed on Monday except the Duomo and it was raining).  Fortunately the rental car we got was nice, a Kangoo, and could easily hold all our stuff.  We stopped at the Certosa di Pavia on the way to Ferrara.  I really want to go back there on a sunny day because it was amazing on a rainy day.  I got to see the effigies of Ludovico il Moro and Beatrice d'Este (and take lots of pictures).  Completely worth the trip.  We drove on to Pavia so Jeff could see the castle there as he thought it was the castle of the duke that Fiori  (14th century fencing master for those not hearing abour HMA as much) had helped to train.

We continued on to Ferrara through an absolutely horrible rain storm.  Thank God for the autoroute and for my MIL who gave us a GPS with European maps for an early Christmas present.  The weather cleared overnight, and Ferrara was charming.  The Hall of Months was AMAZING.  I wanted to take pictures SO BADLY.  sigh.  Still, it was incredible seeing frescoes in person that I have spent so much time studying in books.  Jeff wanted to see the castle while we were there.  Ironically, it turned out that THAT was the castle of the duke that Fiori had worked for.  Since the whole point of renting the car had been for me to be able to see the Hall of Months, it was a major bonus that Jeff got to see the castle.

We continued on to Florence in time for me to check in at the conference, meeting up with broderesse at our hotel.  Many thanks to salviati for the recommendation, btw.  It was a great place to stay.  The conference was over the top.  I met so many wonderful people, including authors of books I've read.  It was like a collection of fangirls (and some boys) geeking out.   Santina Levey is this very sweet, frail little old lady - she started off the conference (after the dull pompous men were through) talking about her dear friend Janet Arnold.  She spoke of her with sch love and affection she brought tears to my eyes.  I also got to meet Roberta Orsa Landini and Carole Collier Frick (who played with Miss M at the Palazzo Vecchio), so nice and rather bemused by the attention they received.  I'll try to post more on the conference later.

After the conference we continued on to Siena, which we loved.  We stayed in a really neat residenzia that had a painted ceiling and a playroom with toys.  I got to see Lorenzetti's Good and Bad Government, which was wonderful!  So much fabulous art.  So little time.  It was so hard having so little time to see everything.  Miss M was a good sport most of the time.  Jeff got to be an expert at picking her up stroller and all and going up and down stairs of the museums.  It was hard having her with us at times, but it would have been harder leaving her at home since she would have had to have gone to stay with someone.  I couldn't stand the idea of being away from her that long.

Well, this is getting long, and I need to go make gingerbread men for a pre-school Christmas party.  I'll write more on the trip later.  I did want to let people know that we're almost paper pregnant (we still have to finish an update on our homestudy).  Miss M's birthparents are expecting (got caught by Mirena's 99.8% effectiveness rate) and have asked us to parent.  If all goes as we hope, we'll be adding a baby boy to our family at the end of February/beginning of March.  It's not final, till it's final, though, so please keep us all in your prayers and good thoughts. 

Off to bake!

Tags: adoption, italy, miss m, new baby
Current Location: family room
Current Mood: chipper